(Originally formatted and published on Livejournal on 3/28/11)
THE WORST ANIME SHOWS OF 2010, part 1
I just finished up tallying up my Top 20 Anime Shows of 2010, and now it’s time to take a look at the other end of the scale. Over the past several months, I have sampled EVERY SINGLE ANIME SHOW that was produced between December 22, 2009 and December 21, 2010, and was subtitled into English. I only excluded blatant pornography and hard-core yaoi shows; in total, it added up to over 150 television series, movies, specials, one-shots and OVAs. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss your sanity goodbye!
Before tackling the worst of the worst, here are some honorable mentions for shows that were pretty stinky, but not *quite* bad enough to stink up the whole joint. Truth be told, there were so many bad shows during the year that it was hard to narrow the list down, but you have to cut somewhere…
HONORABLE MENTIONS FOR WORST SHOWS!
- Queen’s Blade: Utsukushiki Touchi-tachi
- Omamori Himari
- Hyakka Ryouran Samurai Girls
- ToHeart adNext
- Sekirei: Pure Engagement
- Seitakoi Yakuindomo
- Kachou no Koi
- Kiss X Sis
- Hetalia World Series
- Yuri Seijin Naoko-san
- Hidamari Sketch x Hoshimittsu
- Ladies vs. Butlers
- Fortune Arterial
- Air Gear: Break on the Sky
- B Gata H Kei
- Ichiban Ushiro no Daimaou
- Mayoi Neko Overrun
And I haven’t even gotten started yet! Now it’s on the crappiest of the crap!
#20 – Star Driver
Star Driver: Kagayaki no Takuto is a 25-episode weekly television series aired during the Fall of 2010 and Winter of 2011. Takuto washes up on an island one day, all set to start his new life as a student at the Southern Cross High School. But the tropical island holds a secret: beneath the school is a bunch of powerful giant robots calls Cybodies, which operate in an alternate dimension called Zero Time. But Takuto has a secret of his own: as the “Galactic Pretty Boy”, he joins the “Glittering Crux Brigade” to take control of the robots.
If there was one word that was immediately used to describe this show by the anime bloggerati, it was FABULOUS!. Seriously, with all the pretty colorful flourishes and glittery displays, it was like some dog chewed up some crayons and vomited all over the screen. It’s really a big giant robot show, but they decided to make it extra special by adding on a heavy dollop of bishounen fabulousness…because if there is one thing that giant robot shows have been lacking all along, it’s mincing pretty boys. And it’s not some tongue-in-cheek gimmick, or done with a wink-and-a-nod. Nope, they’re dead serious about it, with the cackling-evil side gasping out in earnestness, “Oh no, it’s the Galactic Pretty Boy!” (Yes, that’s not some silly translation, they really do say that). Oh, not only that, but the story is incomprehensible, the plot impossible to follow, and characters as one-dimensionally typecast as possible. As if any of that matters, all you need to know is that show was positively FABULOUS!
#19 – Hime Chen! Otogi Chikku Idol Lilpri
Hime Chen! Otogi Chikku Idol Lilpri is a 51-episode (!!!) weekly television series aired during the Spring, Summer, Fall of 2010 and Winter of 2011. Fairyland is in trouble, and some of the most well-known fairy tales from the western world (Cinderalla, for example) and from the eastern world (Kayuga-hime) are disappearing. Three little animals are sent to the human world to find three princesses to become “Super Miracle Idols”, so that they can gather “Happiness Tones” to save Fairyland.
Oh boy, where to start? First of all, this is clearly a kid’s show aimed at little girls, so it’s going to be all light and fluffy and colorful, light on story and plot and big on happiness and friendship. That’s all fine and good…but even as a little kid’s show, this is a stinker. Boring and disjointed, you would be better off pointing little girls to such “quality” fare as Tantei Opera Milky Holmes, Heartcatch Pretty Cure, or Jewel Pet Tinkle. But perhaps the oddest and most off-putting aspect is when these little kneebiters are suddenly transformed into adult idol singers, jump up on stage and belt out a sugary pop tune…all of it animated in that ultra-creepy motion capture manner with the smoothly robotic movements. Uncanny valley is uncanny.
#18 – SD Gundam Senshi Sangokuden Brave Battle Warriors
SD Gundam Senshi Sangokuden Brave Battle Warriors is a 51-episode (!!!) weekly television series that aired from Spring 2010 through Winter 2011. The classic Chinese semi-historical Romance of the Three Kingdoms legend, a popular story and theme among anime shows, gets a special twist. This time, the story is told with all the characters portrayed by super deformed Gundam robots! Not for the cheap yuks, which is expected of the super deformed genre, but this is a serious, straightforward version of the story (as far as I can tell, at least).
The main question is…WHY??? Why, why, why oh why in the name of all that is holy would anyone ever think that this would be a good idea? Did the Gundam Gods head on down to the sake bar and get smashing drunk one night, and think, “Hey, we’ve done everything possible with Gundam over the past three decades…how about this…” It’s not it adds anything to the story whatsoever, the characters in the story are portrayed just like the Chinese characters should be, it’s not like there’s any added Gundam-esque quirks added to the story in any way. Just squat, brusquely drawn giant robots masquerading as some of the biggest legends in Chinese history.
#17 – Yosuga no Sora
Yosuga no Sora a.k.a. “Sky of Connection” is a twelve-part weekly television series that aired in the Fall of 2010, based on the (a-hem) adult visual novel and video game. Following the tragic death of their parents, teenage twins Haruka and Sora travel to the countryside to live alone in their former grandparent’s house. Haruka gets busy trying to put together his new life, catching the attention of several girls and classmates. But Sora is chronically frail and vanishingly shy, condemned to remain hidden away at home, which is just the way she likes it…as long as she has Haruka.
Ewwwwww, ew, ew, ew! What the FREAKING FUCK is wrong with Japan that there is this sudden proliferation of incest anime in the past year? Sure, there’s always been the seedy undercurrent in the darker sides of the fandom, but this year there was Kiss X Sis, Aki Sora, Kuttsukiboshi, My Little Sister Can’t Be This Cute, and also see #16 below as well. Not only incest, but brother-sister incest…not only that, but twin-cest. Eeeeeewwww, it’s enough for me to clamp by hands over by ears, screw my eyes shut and loudly proclaim “NA NA NA IT DOESN’T EXIST NA NA NA!!!” If this show has one redeeming feature, it’s that it is actually very well drawn and animated, which makes it even more tragic that such talent would be wasted on such material.
#16 – Da Capo D.C. I and II P.S.P.
Da Capo D.C. I and II P.S.P. is an original video animation special, a limited edition disc that was bundled with a ridiculously expensive PSP game, released in late 2010. The OVA was really just a collection of four of the animated ending sequences from the video game. Basically it’s four different teenage male characters meeting up with four different female characters, confessing their feelings for each other and ending in a kiss. Theeeeeeee end.
As far as I can tell, three of the lovey-dovey scenes involving heart-felt confessions of love between siblings (perhaps all four, I dunno). Again with the incest? Although this is nothing new, since Da Capo has been around perverting Japanese youth for most of the last decade. But what give this show that extra little dash of awfulness is that there’s really no point at all. Just four five-minute scenes (that are essentially the same thing repeated) ripped from the end of a long story, no real explanation or anything, just a few minutes of fumbly teenage small-talk and a smooch. The only reason anyone would be interested in this in the first place is if you’re a hardcore Da Capo fan to begin with, and if you are then you’ve seen all this before. Utterly, utterly pointless.
Coming up next:More crapola around the corner with Part Two fo the Worst Anime of 2010! Oh yes, it gets worse…much worse…